Taking responsibility = power

Why: I notice when I hand responsibility to (a.k.a. blame) other people or circumstances for the challenges I face, I give away my power—including the power to change what’s going on.

Whether it’s self-care habits or conflicts with others, giving others the power to dictate your actions prevents you from getting where you want.

Sometimes blame can feel better because our ego hates being wrong and, especially if it’s feeling insecure, will do anything to make itself look like the good guy. But it actually feels better to drop the fight, be honest, and get back in the driver’s seat.

Blaming or complaining can also signal to others weakness, a lack of integrity, or being out of control. This is why it’s especially important for leaders to be good at taking responsibility. A good book on this concept is Extreme Ownership by former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink.

Of course, there are legitimately challenging people or circumstances you might be dealing with, and it can be tricky to know how much responsibility to take.

• In relationships, this is where empathy comes in. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and earnestly look at the situation from their point of view—how would you feel?

• With habits, this is where the power of choice comes in. Where can you make a different choice? What do you have control over, even if it’s inconvenient or seemingly small?

Examples of giving your power away:

• “It’s just my age / genetics” → avoiding changes in nutrition, movement, sleep, or stress because improvement feels inconvenient or not guaranteed

• “They made me react that way” → avoiding looking at boundaries, communication, or patterns you keep participating in

• “I don’t have time / money / energy” → not taking charge of how your time, money, or energy are being spent

• “This is just how I am” → protecting an identity instead of evolving it

• “Once things calm down, I’ll focus on my health” → outsourcing your well-being to a future that never arrives

Remember, you are SO much more powerful than you think. And sometimes holding that power can be uncomfortable! But the more you own it, the more you access. 💗

Move in new ways

Why: It can be easy to only move your body in the ways you’ve been taught growing up or in classes. Free yourself to experiment with moving in different ways!

For example, if you’re stretching or dancing or doing a yoga flow at home, experiment with moving in ways that feel good to your body, without worrying if it’s a “real” move.

Because the mind and body are connected, I find that physically moving in new ways encourages new ideas and thought patterns. If you’re feeling stuck or want to get creative, try it out.

Relational trauma is healed in relationships

Why: We can do a lot on our own, but healing has a ceiling when we stay isolated.

The real work is stepping back into where it started: relationships.

Through active listening, curiosity, and empathy, we rewrite old patterns together.

Find the people who help you feel safe and supported again — without them, it’s easy to shut down and call it self-protection.

Set boundaries with those who can’t meet you there yet. If they’re still not friends with their own pain, they won’t know how to be friendly with yours either.

Finding your people takes trial and error. Keep going!

When in doubt, run experiments

If you’re not sure what the next step is, try things.

For example, if you regularly overeat/eat when you’re not hungry, check in with how you’re feeling and if you might be using food to avoid something.

If you are, write down 10 healthier things you could experiment with doing instead.

Don’t put pressure on yourself to find the right one right away, just commit to experimenting. :)

Food is medicine

Why: Food can heal, and it can also be the root of health and mood issues.

Regularly eating highly-processed foods that cause stress and inflammation in your body can lead to disease over time.

I’ve worked with clients who have overcome rheumatoid arthritis, eczema, acne, bloating/gut inflammation, clinical depression, and daily panic attacks — simply by changing what they eat.

Limiting processed foods and understanding your food sensitivities can not heal many health issues, but it can also change the way you look (e.g. I became drastically less puffy by identifying my food sensitivities!).

Genetics and age matter, but…

…you have so much within your control before reaching those limitations.

Epigenetic expression is how your choices — environment, habits, stress, nutrition, sleep, etc. — flip certain genes “on” or “off.”

Blaming genetics can be tempting as the easy way out — owning the rest means taking responsibility and doing something about it.

You have 2 choices:

1) be uncomfortable staying the same, or

2) be uncomfortable leveling up

Staying the same can feel like the easy way out — it’s familiar, and our brains associate familiar with safe. We can also excuse our lack of change by blaming something else, thereby avoiding taking responsibility or action.

But staying the same eventually feels hard too, so we might as well change and make it rewarding!

Practice replacing frustration with curiosity

Why: It sounds annoying, but we can train ourselves to look at obstacles as opportunities.

Each one teaches us something we can learn from in order to move forward.

What’s a frustration you could look at with more curiosity?

Examples:

• Ugh my weight is up again! → Hmm, why is my weight up again?

• I’m totally off track again today, what’s wrong with me?! → What’s not working and how can I plan for tomorrow?

• I have so far to go, I’m never going to reach my goal. → How can I put one foot in front of the other today?

Find the feeling driving the coping mechanism

Why: Somatic healing helps us feel safe by healing trauma-related stress responses through the body and nervous system regulation (not just big T trauma but the traumas we all have as part of the human experience).

When we don’t know how to do this for ourselves, we turn to coping mechanisms instead—staying busy, seeking validation, controlling behaviors, people-pleasing, seeking attention, over-giving, over-performing, over-eating, alcohol, drugs, sex, video games, etc.

Creating safety within gets to the root of many struggles—including, for some clients I work with, lifelong eating patterns that aren’t resolved with 1) more nutritional info, 2) custom macro targets, or 3) mindset work.

The best part is that this practice doesn’t ask you to change your thoughts or behaviors, because as you feel safer, your thoughts and behaviors begin to naturally align with your intentions.

Practice listening to yourself

Why: Your body’s sensations — hunger, fatigue, tension — are the data that helps you make choices for your health.

Awareness improves how you move, eat, rest, look, and feel.

Get your beauty sleep

Why: Consistent, high-quality sleep keeps your emotions balanced and is one of the biggest ways to support your energy, focus, and motivation levels.

Sleep balances cortisol, insulin, and other key hormones that control stress, appetite, and metabolism.

Not getting enough can negatively impact your skin, posture, and outlook — take your emotions after a night of rough sleep with a grain of salt!

How much: Aim for 7–9 hours per night, depending on your current stress and activity levels.

Hydrate

Why: When you’re hydrated, you feel more awake and energized, recover faster after movement, and think more clearly. Water also moves nutrients through your body, helps with digestion, and keeps circulation steady.

How much: Aim for about half your body weight in ounces per day — more if you’re active or sweating.

Supplement with magnesium

Why: Magnesium is involved in over 300 bodily processes, including energy production, muscle contraction, nerve signaling, blood sugar regulation, and protein synthesis. It’s essential for balance, performance, and recovery.

Modern diets don’t provide enough, so supplementation can be helpful.

Types:

• Glycinate — best for sleep, calm, and recovery.

• Malate — good for energy production and muscle function.

• Threonate — crosses the blood–brain barrier; good for focus and mood.

• Citrate — helpful for digestion.

If you’re tired, skip the workout

Why: I think of exercising on low energy as going into “energy debt.” It can raise cortisol, increase inflammation, and slow recovery to feeling balanced again.

Because high cortisol can cause the body store fat around its organs, resting is actually more beneficial than the workout for your physique too.

Rest gives your energy levels a chance to recover, your body a chance to repair, and your nervous system to settle, allowing you to perform better and benefit more from your next workout.

Keep it moving

Why: Think of your bloodstream like a river — regular movement keeps it flowing rather than being a stagnant pond.

Healthy bloodflow delivers oxygen and nutrients to your muscles and organs, helping you feel energized. It supports recovery processes and digestion, and keeps your skin looking fresh.

It also supports mental clarity and mood, which is why walks can be so valuable for mental health too.

Be mindful of sugar

Why:

• Sugar can reduce sensitivity to signals that tell you you’re full, making you eat more overall

• The liver processes excess sugar into fat, which can contribute to fatty liver over time

• Spikes and dips in blood sugar can affect energy levels, focus, mental clarity, and mood

• Frequently eating sugar can trigger reward pathways in the brain, making it habit-forming

If you’re trying to reduce your sugar intake, start by replacing highly processed options with minimally processed versions like fruit, dark chocolate, yogurt – without limiting portion sizes at first, so you don’t try to change too much at once. These foods can satisfy cravings with fewer calories and less inflammation.

Don’t skip meals

Why: When you under-eat for too long, your body responds by conserving energy — slowing metabolism, increasing fatigue, and holding onto fat stores for safety.

Eating enough signals that it’s safe to use energy, rather than storing it as fat.

Many of the people I’ve worked with who struggle with fat loss are actually eating too little / not consistently getting enough to eat.

Get your salt & minerals

Why: Low electrolytes can show up as extreme fatigue, poor concentration, headaches, cravings, and that “wired but tired” feeling.

Helpful sources are high-quality salts (sea salt, Himalayan), mineral-rich foods (leafy greens, beans, nuts), and low-sugar electrolyte drinks.

Get vitamin D

Why: Vitamin D is a hormone precursor, meaning your body needs it to make hormones that regulate energy, mood, immunity, and metabolism.

Being low can leave you tired, moody, more prone to illness, and make fat loss harder.

Ways to get it: Regular sunlight exposure, eating vitamin-D–rich foods (like eggs, salmon, and mushrooms), or taking a supplement.

Eat balanced meals with protein, fat, and carbs

Why: Eating sugar and high-glycemic carbs alone can cause a spike-and-crash and mood dips.

Protein and fats are more slowly digested than carbs, so eating them as part of a balanced meal keeps you full longer and your blood sugar steadier.