Echo chambers
“…different opinions feel personally threatening rather than intellectually interesting.
You’ve stopped asking, what if I’m wrong? about your core beliefs.
Your conversations reinforce rather than challenge your thinking.
People in echo chambers don’t just stop growing, they start shrinking. Their minds become more fearful…”
Also, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Trust your timing
It’s like I vaguely knew I wasn’t ready to share yet, but I also kind of doubted my intuition and wondered whether it was actually just fear holding me back.
If you’re going to share online, especially personal stories, take your time getting ready.
Even when the internet is screaming ACT NOW do it scared!, that advice doesn’t apply all the time. And if you’re listening to that, while also trying to listen to your intuition, it can feel like a self-made pressure-cooker! I wish there were context attached to self-help advice because there’s conflicting advice everywhere, all true in different situations.
Don’t rush your healing. Trust your timing.
The truth
The phrase "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" is the oath witnesses take in court. It is meant to cover all forms of deceit.
Here is a breakdown of what each part means:
"The truth": A witness must not knowingly tell any falsehoods. This can be complicated by biases or self-deception.
"The whole truth": The witness must not omit any relevant details. Leaving something out could alter the meaning of the evidence, even if no direct lie was told. This prevents "lying by omission".
"And nothing but the truth": A witness cannot add false information to an otherwise true statement. This stops them from inventing details that did not happen.
Significance in the legal system
In countries that follow the English common law tradition, the oath is a part of judicial proceedings. It reminds the witness of the gravity of their words and the serious consequences of lying under oath, which is a crime called perjury.
Confidence is
Confidence is accepting being human.
Confidence is owning your imperfections without shame.
It’s feeling okay being seen making mistakes.
That’s why people love following someone who shares the ups and downs of their journey. Because it’s human. BECAUSE it’s imperfect. Because it’s not telling half-truths, because it’s open not small and fearful.
Life can be wild and messy and raw if you’re not playing it too safe or even if you are.
Time anxiety
I found this message on a sticky note:
“What if I told you you are right on time and every detour you’re making is laying the groundwork for your masterpiece?
It can take time. It can be a masterpiece.
God heard you the first time. Other things need to line up first.”
Energy in motion
You can have intelligence around emotions. Our emotional expression is still subject to logic.
No justified resentments
The idea of being mean to someone because they’re mean to you feels so unconscious, childish.
Instead of “I’m gonna be mean and ugly to you because you’re mean and ugly to me”, it’s “I’m choosing different.” Don’t become what you hate.
✕
“There are no justified resentments.
You must send blame out of your life for any conditions of your life. Blame has to go. It’s mine, I take responsibility for it. If I think someone else caused it, then I’ve got to wait for someone else to change. And you might wait forever for that. But if I take responsibility for it, I can do something, including move on, which might be the most important thing to do.
At the higher level, where there are no justified resentments, you’re at a place where you’re sending love in response to hate.
If you become steadfast in your abstentions of thoughts of harm directed towards others, all living creatures will cease to feel enmity in your presence.
Reach that place where the only thing you have to send is love, because that’s what’s inside. And that’s the message of our greatest spiritual teachers–that’s all they’ve ever had to give away.
Love is my gift to the world. I fill myself with love, and I send that love out into the world. How others treat me is their path; how I react is mine.”
—Wayne Dyer
Judgment
When you’re unconscious, judgment feels like relief—it vents your discomfort and pins it on someone else.
But with awareness, it feels toxic, like a hangover.
I’ve had to step back from judgment-heavy relationships. Now I’m practicing staying present without absorbing it, and I feel visceral relief with people who are also working on calling out their own bullshit.
I recommend this book
Violence
Pain wants compassion. Pain, which comes from fear, energetically comes back into balance with its opposite: love.
“If ‘violent’ means acting in ways that results in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate could indeed be called ‘violent’ communication.”
–Marshall B. Rosenberg
🤍
I highly recommend this book
Lean in
I’m leaning into all the tendencies that society and others have made me feel are wrong. I’m:
taking my time doing the inner work that can be seen as “unproductive” or “stagnant” from the outside
making a bunch of blog posts on some days and none other days [ I think we have falsely made “showing up every day” a moral standard when applied to our productive output ]
living by seasons [ again not demanding a constant stream of output every day ]
not wearing a style guide like a straitjacket, freely following whatever feels good moment to moment
not over-believing in the concept that everything has to take time, realizing the power of energy and intention to enter the place where time doesn’t exist (flow state)
I don’t think these things are actually very rebellious–they feel quite natural, but leaning into them in our society feels very uncomfortable and contrarian.
Hell is…
feeling victimized, blaming others, taking things personally → you’re hostage to others
not trusting anyone → you isolate and call it safety
not trusting yourself → you outsource your power
not being present → life is happening but you’re not really there or engaged
trying to control things you can’t → you get frustrated with no way out
paralyzing / avoidance-causing perfectionism → ego-driven fear disguised as standards (or as Liz Gilbert described, “I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it's just terrified. Because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more that a deep existential angst that says, again and again, 'I am not good enough and I will never be good enough.”)
Words are bridges
If we listen to each other
And pause before we speak
Maybe that’s the space
Where our hearts can meet
From my song “Written in the Stars.”
💖
The ego
Our two operating systems, according to ChatGPT:
Ego
Survival software.
Built from your conditioning, fears, desires, and need for identity.
Obsessed with safety, status, control, and comparison.
Narrates your life constantly, and tends to believe it is you.
Not “bad”—you need it to navigate the world, but it’s limited and reactive.
Higher Self
The observer behind the thoughts.
Doesn’t need validation or control; it knows.
Moves from intuition, creativity, love, connection.
Feels expansive, timeless, and grounded at once.
It doesn’t collapse when circumstances shift—it holds perspective.
One is a lens, the other is the sky. The trick isn’t to kill the ego (that’s impossible and would make you dysfunctional) but to see it, use it as a tool, and let the higher self steer.
Your ego is like wearing sunglasses. The tint changes how you see things—sometimes useful (protects your eyes, sharpens focus), but it’s not the whole picture. If you forget you’re wearing them, you mistake the filter for reality.
Your higher self is the actual sky. Wide, spacious, unbothered by clouds, storms, or the fact you’re wearing glasses. It holds everything without losing its nature.
Now, about “killing the ego”: people sometimes think awakening means ego-death, but in practice that would be like trying to drive a car with no steering wheel. The ego organizes your identity, keeps you safe crossing the street, pays your bills, helps you say “I am Kia.” Without it, you’d just be floating awareness, useless in 3D life.
The skill is:
See the lens (notice when your ego is running the show: fear, defensiveness, image-management).
Remember the sky (drop back into presence, compassion, intuition).
Use the lens on purpose (ego as a tool: negotiating rent, editing your bio, setting boundaries).
Let the sky steer (higher self decides direction: what feels aligned, expansive, true).
Keeping in mind the ego is survival software, being free from the ego looks like:
Responding instead of reacting.
Knowing your worth without needing approval.
Letting go of what you can’t control.
Feeling deeply without losing yourself.
Creating, speaking, living from the heart.
Enjoying life without measuring or comparing.
The ego is still there—it just stops running the show.
The whole truth
If half-truths are still lies, shouldn’t we tell the WHOLE TRUTH–meaning the good AND the bad parts?
I feel like New York City tells the truth. It’s not pretending to be perfect, it’s simply the good the bad and the ugly of the human experience expressed. And that is what makes it so great and widely lovable.
Kindness is truth
“Genuine kindness is sincere, and sincerity requires honesty and truth.
Kindness is also essential for truth because it allows us to be open to new ideas and perspectives. When we are kind to others, we are more likely to listen to them and try to understand their point of view. When we are truthful, we accept others as they are without trying to manipulate or control them, which is kindness. In this way, being truthful is an act of kindness.”
—Interfaith, “where people respect, relate, and cooperate across difference”
💖
My way
The obvious things are often the wisest: doing things my way works better for me.
When your way doesn’t fit the mold—or is even labeled “wrong”—it can take time to realize it’s actually right for you.
Nikola Tesla said he thought more than he acted, and that vibration and frequency are the universe’s secret. The inner work is real work, even if it’s not “productive” in terms of immediate output.
So I’m unsubscribing from society’s idea that I’m not doing enough. I’m validating the work I am doing, letting go of timelines, and trusting the process. When it’s time to move, I’ll know.
It’s kind of crazy that validating and trusting myself in these ways feel rebellious, instead of natural.
No need to stress about what/how/when others do things—it doesn’t matter. If you’re worried, maybe it’s time to unsubscribe from the rules and games that aren’t yours.
TL;DR: Just do it—your way ✓
💖
