The ego
Our two operating systems, according to ChatGPT:
Ego
Survival software.
Built from your conditioning, fears, desires, and need for identity.
Obsessed with safety, status, control, and comparison.
Narrates your life constantly, and tends to believe it is you.
Not “bad”—you need it to navigate the world, but it’s limited and reactive.
Higher Self
The observer behind the thoughts.
Doesn’t need validation or control; it knows.
Moves from intuition, creativity, love, connection.
Feels expansive, timeless, and grounded at once.
It doesn’t collapse when circumstances shift—it holds perspective.
One is a lens, the other is the sky. The trick isn’t to kill the ego (that’s impossible and would make you dysfunctional) but to see it, use it as a tool, and let the higher self steer.
Your ego is like wearing sunglasses. The tint changes how you see things—sometimes useful (protects your eyes, sharpens focus), but it’s not the whole picture. If you forget you’re wearing them, you mistake the filter for reality.
Your higher self is the actual sky. Wide, spacious, unbothered by clouds, storms, or the fact you’re wearing glasses. It holds everything without losing its nature.
Now, about “killing the ego”: people sometimes think awakening means ego-death, but in practice that would be like trying to drive a car with no steering wheel. The ego organizes your identity, keeps you safe crossing the street, pays your bills, helps you say “I am Kia.” Without it, you’d just be floating awareness, useless in 3D life.
The skill is:
See the lens (notice when your ego is running the show: fear, defensiveness, image-management).
Remember the sky (drop back into presence, compassion, intuition).
Use the lens on purpose (ego as a tool: negotiating rent, editing your bio, setting boundaries).
Let the sky steer (higher self decides direction: what feels aligned, expansive, true).
Keeping in mind the ego is survival software, being free from the ego looks like:
Responding instead of reacting.
Knowing your worth without needing approval.
Letting go of what you can’t control.
Feeling deeply without losing yourself.
Creating, speaking, living from the heart.
Enjoying life without measuring or comparing.
The ego is still there—it just stops running the show.
Where’d my energy go?
From Loss of Motivation and Energy During Awakening–I had ChatGPT summarize:
Right now, motivation feels flat—and that’s okay. The old “doer” ego, the one always proving and chasing, is running out of fuel. Your usual drive feels off because the ego-driven push is fading, and the quieter pull of what’s real for you hasn’t fully arrived.
Awakening is like walking through no man’s land: between who you were and who you’re becoming. You might feel lost or unmotivated, but this fog is actually space for something new to emerge.
It’s also a mirror: old wounds, judgments, and habits get magnified, inviting healing. Criticism may sting more, but that’s just old patterns surfacing.
The good news? You can stop feeding the false identity. Let ego energy deplete and trust that your true self is quietly showing up, piece by piece. Some days feel flat, some bright. Both are part of the process. Stay curious, patient, and allow yourself to simply be—without forcing, fixing, or figuring it all out.
