Lessons from the Year of the Snake, 2025

I learned a lot about myself and others this year.

Themes this year were around letting go, discernment, and self-respecting boundaries, while keeping a warm and open heart.

I learned to prioritize my peace. I am learning to remove myself from places, relationships, or situations that require chronic overextension. And to be with people and in places that give back as much energy as they take.
I learned to not take things personally. Sometimes people can’t offer you honesty, compassion, or presence because they can’t offer it to themselves.
The things people cringe at or criticize about others are often the places they haven’t learned to love in themselves. I am better at seeing how people project onto others the shame they don’t want to face (which helps with #2).
The power of silence. More than once, saying nothing allowed things to resolve on their own. Also, sometimes no response says more than words.
The power of stillness. I saw how being tired, distracted, and busy means being easier to control. Resting has felt rebellious in this productivity- and action-obsessed culture we live in, but it’s brought me clarity and perspective. And because I love a good sports metaphor: a handstand hold is harder than a handstand walk.
The power of doing less—a message that came through yoga, acting, and singing classes.
Instead of arguing, I learned to step away from conversations where I wasn’t being heard and being right mattered more to them than working things out.
I distanced myself from people who tried to humble me, even in a subtle or joking way, and even if they also showered me with praise. When a connection feels confusing, I’ve learned to trust my gut and experience that something is off.
I found a way to hold two things at once: gratitude for the love people are capable of showing me, and the choice to love them at a distance if it doesn’t meet my self-respecting standards.
I’m grateful for situations that revealed people’s true colors. They sharpened my vision and discernment.
Because New York demands so much energy, I had to start budgeting energetically. It helped me get real about who and what I have energy for, and helped me prioritize what matters. Now that I’ve learned that lesson, I also realized I don’t like having mundane tasks take so much energy—everything here feels twice as chaotic, expensive, and cold.
I no longer share my dreams with people whose hands are too small to hold them.
I’ve become allergic to mansplaining and opinions delivered as if they’re The Ultimate Truth. I’m more drawn to people who share their experiences and trust others to make meaning for themselves. As Alan Watts said: “‘Kindly let me help you or you will drown,’ said the monkey, putting the fish safely up a tree.”
I learned the lesson that all the healthy habits in the world cannot compensate for being in the wrong environment or relationship.
I trusted that things that didn’t work out were actually answered prayers, redirecting me towards better.
I became more aware of how much the little things add up. I realized I don’t want the small moments of my day to feel hard — I want them to feel easy, even luxurious.
I got better at asking for help.
I got better at setting self-respecting boundaries. Thinking of myself as both the kid and the parent helps—it’s the parent’s job to protect the kid.
I remembered that just because I can, doesn’t mean I have to.
When I felt overwhelmed, I practiced focusing on just the next step, not the whole staircase.
Sometimes balance comes from experiencing the opposite. If it feels hard to trust others, maybe it’s an invitation to trust yourself more. If it feels like no one believes in you, maybe it’s time to strengthen your belief in yourself.
I was reminded that being okay with looking stupid is a gift lol. It allows you to be seen trying something you might not be “good” at yet.
I trusted that every challenge and lesson is the preparation and training for my prayers. As Napoleon Hill said, “Hard times are the gym for the soul.”